Surgeon Simulator 2013: A true test in patience

Surgeon Simulator 2013 is about as far away from an actual simulator as you can get. The title of the game itself is completely tongue in cheek. The controls are probably some of the worst and most difficult I have ever encountered. I kind of get that this is meant to be the point but it's truly horrendous, as I shall elaborate on later.

You play the game as a 'surgeon', although all you will ever see is a floating hand. The first surgery you are presented with is a heart transplant. Your job is to smash open their rib cage remove the organs, replace the heart then place the organs back into the patient. Sounds straight forward enough right? A bit of open heart surgery should be fine! Well on my first attempt at this I was even struggling to pick up the tools, let alone perform an operation!

So this is the meat of the game and something that I think you will either love or hate with this game - the controls. You have five buttons to bind each controls, one of the fingers and the thumb. When pressing these buttons down, you close the assigned finger and/or thumb. So your left hand becomes a claw, trying to close all the floating hands fingers and thumbs at once! Now the icing on the cake is that the mouse controls are even worse. You can move the mouse forward and back to move the hand back and forward, hold the left mouse button to move the hand down towards the patient/table/tools, and hold the right mouse button to rotate the wrist. If this all sounds complicated already, try picking up a tool and going to town on your patient. 

I get that the controls are meant to be beyond clunky, everything is not meant to work and it's just abit of fun. But MY WIG after trying for 30 minutes just to pick up a hammer to crack open the guys rib cage I really had enough. If you have the patience for this game I could see it being a lot of fun, but for me personally it's rare for me not to have a good thing to say about a game. 

Oh wait! I did laugh when my hand bumped into the anesthetic needle and the screen went into a twisted psychedelic rainbow mode. There we go something good to say about the game -  it made me laugh this one time.